Omg, omg, habemus papam! We repeat, habemus mother f---ckin papam!!
Just a day after the conclave kicked off, the red-robed holy squad fired up their divine smoke machine and puffed out that iconic white signal from the Sistine Chapel chimney, letting everyone know they officially found their supreme diva.
Cue the internet losing its sanctified mind. Was it Cardinal Tagle, a.k.a. “Asian Francis”? The ever-adorable Cardinal Zuppi? Or maybe Cardinal Pizzaballa, whose name was the source of many a meme and joke on the internet?
Well, the holy curtain has lifted, and *ahem* drumroll please...
Your new Pope is none other than Cardinal Robert Prevost of Chicago, who has taken on the name Pope Leo XIV. That’s right, the Vatican officially has a Pope who loves deep dish pizza.
Who could have predicted this? Not me, and certainly not the internet, who are feeling some kind of way after learning that no one from their favorite trio of progressive Cardinals came out on top.
Here is a roundup of the best internet reactions to the new American Pope.
The Memes:
Okay, well, we didn’t exactly get the woke Pope we wanted. R.I.P. to the Cardinal Tagle girlies.
At the very least, this means the Vatican will escape Trump’s tariff tantrums... probably?
Dick Wolf, the television producer behind Chicago Med, Chicago Fire, and Chicago P.D., is probably pitching Chicago Pope to Hollywood executives as we speak.
Some Americans are already celebrating that they are now, officially, #Blessed.
God is really out here giving the new deep dish Pope diva their stamp of approval.
While some Americans and Chicagoans are thrilled with the results, the internet has been slow to come around to the new Papal pick, as they were hoping for a Woke Pope.
Still, if Pope Leo XIV can provide some assurances that he will denounce the orange man, then they are more than willing to hop onto the popemobile and fangirl for him.
These tweets are already counting in his favor.
And most importantly, any enemy of conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer is a friend to the rest of the world.
Not to mention, Pope Leo also hates JD Vance. It’s a big win for the girlies who declared Vance to be the antichrist after he basically killed Francis.
Also, the man earned a degree in mathematics, so not only will he save us from our sins, but he can also explain what cosine means.
Considering Pope Leo is the first American Pope, does this make him a DEI Pope?
Italians, you better get ready for those Happy Meals, because they are coming your way!! Out with the pasta, in with the McD’s.
Popeyes would officially like to put in a request to change their name to: Pope yes.
Listen up Pope Leo, you better not act like Emily from Emily in Paris when you move to the Vatican. We cannot handle anymore bad PR.
Be cool.
I guess this is going to be the holy communion wafer at mass?
Chicago sports fans are probably feeling chuffed right now.
Hey, at the end of the day, he’s just one of the bros, right?
Omg!!! Pope’s first wiki entry. It’s official guys.
