It is a privilege to grow old and watch your dark hair turn to white. Or in Donald Trump’s case, watch your dark hair turn to brassy blond and then to white.
And even though Trump has just turned 80, don’t call him old. “I’m not a senior,” he insisted in early May. “I’m far younger than a senior. It’s true. I feel like—I feel the same as I felt 50 years ago. I don’t know. There’ll be a—there’ll be a period of time when I don’t tell you that. There’ll be—because I’m honest. I’ll say, it’s not looking good. I have to be careful…”
Let’s stop him there even though the grandfather of eleven rambled for several more incoherent sentences. But that’s normal for his age group according to the Mayo Clinic. In an essay on what to expect during the aging process, the clinic staff points to changes in the brain which can lead to fumbling for information and a shorter attention span.
In most markers of seniority, Trump is right on target. So here’s a brief examination of how the president stacks up against predictable changes for someone entering his ninth decade.
1. Memory and Cognitive Skills
Telling the same old stories… repeating phrases… using vague vocabulary…struggling to recall names… these are hallmarks of a Trump press conference and how aging typically affects memory.
To stay “mentally active,” the Mayo Clinic recommends that seniors stay connected to their family and community, volunteer at a local nonprofit, and take up new hobbies like knitting or dismantling NATO.
2. The Heart and Blood Vessels
Advanced age is a significant risk factor for chronic venous insufficiency (CVI) so it’s no surprise that Trump’s doctors made that diagnosis last year. The White House acknowledged that the president was experiencing “mild swelling in his lower leg,” which is a nice way of saying, “The boss has cankles.” At the same time, the White House insisted that there was no evidence of deep vein thrombosis, a more serious condition.
Medical professionals have also ruled out high blood pressure. In a medical exam two weeks ago, Trump’s blood pressure logged in at 105/71 mmHg down significantly from a 128/74 mmHg reading in 2025. Trump’s doctors crowed that the president’s heart age was 14 years younger than his actual age. That’s an understatement. According to the Health Research Institute, Trump’s blood pressure correlates with that of “School-aged children.”
The Mayo Clinic highlights the importance of sleep for maintaining a healthy cardiovascular system, which is sore spot for Trump. At a recent hearing, Representative Ted Lieu asked Secretary of State Marco Rubio if he’d ever seen the president fall asleep in a meeting. Rubio responded emphatically that he had not, adding, “On the contrary, the guy doesn’t sleep, which is a big problem because he calls me at 2 in the morning. He calls me at 5 in the morning…”
Rep. Lieu then accused Rubio of lying and shared a clip of the president drifting off during a Cabinet meeting. Since Trump has the blood pressure of a school-aged child, perhaps he also requires naps during the day.
Stress can weaken heart function but it’s not a problem for Trump, who told TV Host Dr. Phil in June 2024 that he handles stress with two hacks: “Number one, I don’t like thinking about it. Out of sight, out of mind... Number two, I have tremendous support. I have the people’s support. I think if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to handle it so easily.” (About that support… Trump’s disapproval rating among the American people hovers around a historically high 60 percent, according to a June 12 poll in The Economist.)
3. Digestive system
Older adults with diets high in fatty meats and low in fiber often suffer from constipation. Despite a professed love for steak and hamburgers, there’s no evidence that the president is backed up. If anything, there are murmurs of the opposite. A recent poster on social media noticed a familiar movement from Trump in a video that the White House shared in late May. “Anyone whose raised or helped raise a toddler will be familiar with his footwork,” the poster wrote, referencing a moment on tape where Trump leans forward slightly, widens his stance, and bends one knee. Snopes jumped in to investigate the claim and concluded that, based on the public evidence, they could not confirm that the president had an accident.
Still, the Mayo Clinic warns that clenching can actually cause constipation and advises the elderly not to ignore the urge to have a bowel movement. So if the president did answer nature’s call while surrounded by aides and the Secret Service, then that was a healthy thing to do.
4. Weight
As people age, their metabolism slows, which leads to weight gain. Trump is not an exception. Here are reported weights starting with his draft card (avoided) and ending with his medical checkup two weeks ago. All weights are approximate. Like really, really approximate.
Age 18: 180 pounds
Age 71: 239 pounds
Age 72: 243 pounds
Age 73: 244 pounds
Age 78: 224 pounds
Age 79: 238 pounds
Since his teens, Trump’s girth has grown by over 30 percent and in the year since he returned to the Oval Office, he has packed on double digits.
Trump knows that he’s overweight. In January, when The New York Times asked if he’d ever been on a GLP1—or as he calls them “fat shots”—he responded, “No, I have not. I probably should.”
It might be a good idea since there appears to be a correlation between the president’s approval rating and his weight. When his approval is down, his weight ticks up. At this rate, he may hit 250 by the midterms.
5. Bones and muscles
Over time, bones weaken and muscles lose strength, increasing the risk of falling. Trump is well aware that a tumble cwould be a catastrophic event. “I have to be careful because one day I’m gonna probably fall,” the president told podcaster and former deputy director of the FBI Dan Bongino. “I always say, ‘Walk down the steps nice and slowly.’ You ever notice? I don’t have to bop down the stairs. ‘Walk nice and slowly.”
The Mayo Clinic would agree: Skip the bop, save the bones.
6. Skin
Aging skin loses collagen and becomes more fragile, the clinic says, adding, “Bruising may happen more easily.”
Nailed it! The bruises on the tops of Trump’s hands are obvious to anyone who isn’t fooled by a splotch of makeup, but the reasons for the bruising are less obvious. The White House claims that the bruises on his right hand can be traced to a combo of taking aspirin and shaking hands. The bruise on Trump’s left hand, which sprang up at Davos, he claimed came from clipping it on the corner of a table.
It seems like a lot of contorted explanations to avoid acknowledging that older people simply bruise easily. #NormalizeEasyBruising
7. Sexuality
Aging affects sexual needs and performance. According to the Mayo Clinic, “It might take longer to get an erection, and erections may not be as firm as they used to be.” To counter this situation, doctors recommend, “Sharing your needs and concerns with your partner.”
This might explain first lady Melania Trump’s absence from the White House.
8. The Overall Diagnosis
Dr. Sean Barbabella, Trump’s personal physician, has declared that his patient is in “excellent health.” Presumably, that’s not just his opinion but also the opinion of the 22 medical specialists called in as part of the president’s latest checkup—reportedly double the number of specialists from last year.
All official reports point to Trump’s health being in the normal range for an octogenarian, and anyone who has a bottle of champagne cooling in the fridge should know that, according to the National Institute of Health, a man born in 1946 who has reached the age of 80 can expect to live another seven years.
You might want to chug that bottle now.
